Today was a long day with lots to do.
Josh woke me up about 1:45 PM , so that I’d have time to get ready for today’s meeting. The meeting of which I am speaking was of the Kentucky Vulcan Riders Association Chapter 1-12 (KVRA) for the Ride for the Kids event committee. It doesn’t matter that I have never actually ridden a motorcycle, I am already a member of both the club and the committee. We met at 2:30 at Tony Roma’s. We ate and talked, it was great fun. Then we all went outside to a patio table and got down to business. There was a lot to do, everything from finalizing the patch design, food, promotional business, the works. In all i think that part was very productive. After half the committee left, it was me, Josh, Debi and Carl. The four of us were gabbing about the KVRA and the committee. We agreed that unlike the rest of the club, who don’t like to make any decisions and drag their feet, the three of us like to get stuff done. Debi thinks that Josh should run for president and me for vice president the next time elections are held. How cool would that be??!?
After we left, we filled up the gas tank and went to cruise in the Mustang. We spent two hours driving in the gorgeous weather. We even went on a little four-car ferry that crossed a small river. Along the way, I got to see University of Kentucky’s basketball coach John Calipari’s house. We think we saw him and some of the players in the front of the house.
Once we got home, Josh wanted to take a quick walk around the block, so we went out and pounded out a quick half mile while talking about the garden.
We were home long enough for me to call my Mom and wish her a happy 60th birthday. I called the landline over and over and kept getting no answer and busy signals, so i knew someone was on the line and ignoring me, so I called dad’s cell. He answered and said “Didn’t you figure out that i was on the phone the first two times I ignored you?” I just smiled and said “Can I talk to Mom, please?” I then serenaded her with the Binky the Clown version of “Happy Birthday”. It turns out my aunt Pat had driven all the way to their house without telling them to surprise her for her bday, and was sitting on the couch as we talked. She came in the house as Mom was about to take a shower, pounded on the bathroom door, and when Mom opened it and saw who it was, she started to cry (aww!). She had also finally used those gift cards to Red Lobster and gone twice in a week’s span, getting the Lobster Lover’s Feast, to the tune of $30 a pop. I told her that’s one dollar for every year she’s been alive between the two visits. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep talking and had to say goodbye, but I’ll call her again in the next few days.
We then went to the bowling alley where he cashed in some free game coupons and bowled 5 games. When we got there, I realized I had forgotten my knitting toolkit at home. I figured “oh crap, I can’t work on my scarf because my row count is in the notepad in that toolkit.” So I started working on other things. I’m embarrassed to say it took me about five minutes before I realized all I had to do was keep track of how many I finished and tack it on to the count I already had. Derp. I finished another 8 rows before we left.
Stopped at Kroger’s, came home, put away laundry, took a shower, and here I am.
Had a few thoughts though. I read Josh’s blog last night, where he had some rather harsh words about me. We read each other’s blogs as soon as they’re published, so he knew damn well I would see it. Obviously I wasn’t too pleased with it, but it’s nice to know he notices I’m trying. He also had a few words for me when we went to lay down in my bed before we went to sleep. He made a few cracks about my body, which he says is a joke that I should be okay with, but I find it insulting, especially coming from a guy who says he wants to marry me. I am sensitive about it since I’ve been teased about it since I was five years old. It’s hard to let go of things that hurt me that much. I wish I could just forget about it, but that’s not how I am. He went on to tell me that I need to take that anger and focus it into self-improvement. He has a point, but it also makes me feel inadequate. I want his support, but not in the form of negative comments and belittling me when I don’t live up to his expectations.
Along those lines, we were talking in the car on the way to the bowling alley and something we discussed hit a chord with me. We were talking about effort and agreed that it’s okay to try hard and fail, but if you half-ass something and fail, you’ll never know if you were capable of actually doing it.
As I was putting away my laundry, I thought about the comment he made on his blog post last night where he said that as soon as I sweat or get even a little tired, I quit. I thought about it, and after working it out in my head, I came up with a super-dorky little rhyme:
“Sweat washes off, pain fades away,
But if you do nothing, your fat will stay.
Give it your all, give it a try,
Or else you’ll do nothing but sit there and cry.”
Dorky, right? It’s my specialty. But whatever works right?
I had been on Abilify for over two years. About five days ago, after a lot of research and discovering how ineffective it is for most people and just how many side effects and interactions it has, I stopped taking it. As of the night I saw Limitless, I feel better now than I have in ages. I finally have energy and motivation and drive, something I had been lacking for a long time. People who know about my illness and about what Abilify supposedly does would probably say I’m having a manic or hypomanic episode. I disagree. I am not having grandiose thoughts or making stupid or impulsive decisions. I’m making reasonable, attainable goals and am wanting to go out and do things rather than curl up at home doing nothing besides being lazy and complacent. I’m starting out slowly, planning and plotting my course before embarking on new adventures. I finally feel GOOD, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Dorkasaurus Has Some Thoughts, E-I-E-I-O 